Blonde Bloody Maria


This past week has been a very busy one for us, mostly just because we're idiots and love to over-schedule ourselves, but also because along with a full load of work, New Orleans Pride just happened, and I honestly don't think I've spent more consecutive nights in a bar ever. Beau and I both tend to prefer the dinner-and-dessert (definitely can't forget the dessert) kind of outings, but girl, every once in a while it's nice to have four shots of tequila and fall on your ass on the dance floor, so that's exactly what we did. We're still moving, though, and I hold this blonde bloody Maria almost solely responsible for that.

Not sure who remembers the whole colored ketchup fad in 2000, but that was a thing that happened where the regular color of ketchup had became dangerously boring and kids demanded more colors of the stuff so their french fry faces could be more detailed and diverse. And parents had been all like "Don't play with your food," but corporate America was wise and convinced children of America that red ketchup was boring as shit and convinced parents of America that purple, green, and blue ketchup would get their kids to eat more. Lo and behold, it became a thing. Am I the only one who remembers this? Well, I do vividly, and neon green ketchup became my new best friend, for a time. Who would've thunk I'd grow up to run a food blog? Anyway, Beau won't let me eat green ketchup anymore so don't worry, that trend is up. 

Being the nostalgic bb that I am, this recipe is something like that fad, because there's only so far you can go garnishing a drink with more food than a typical meal, and I wanted something really special to keep me entertained. I still kind of like eating green things, so this recipe uses not-quite-ripe green tomatoes along with some other light-colored savory-flavored things to arrive at an incredibly spicy little mix that will for sure get your gears moving in the morning. Oh and there's also tequila, which was the subject of our last live happy hour and also one of our top three things in the world to drink, behind wine but before water. You can find the recipe below to make your very own little green tequila friend!



Blonde Bloody Maria
Makes one

  • 1.5 oz. tequila blanco (or your spirit of choice; vodka and gin both famously work)*
  • 6 oz. blonde bloody mix (recipe below)

Combine tequila and bloody mix in one side of your shaking tin. Add ice and "roll" ingredients back and forth between the two parts of the tin a few times. Empty into serving glass and garnish with some roasted garlic from below, plus any other savory goodies you have lying around: celery, bacon, fried oysters, you name it!

*If you're like "I would like to try this spicy breakfast beverage, please!" but also like "Girl, it is 8 in the morning and I am not feeling booze at this hour," 1. how do you do it? and 2. just substitute water for the booze to thin it out and make yourself a nice little virgin Mary. 

Blonde Bloody Mix
Makes about 3 pints, enough for 4-6 Bloody Marias.

  • 8 large green tomatoes, halved
  • 2 bulbs of garlic (about 16 cloves), peeled
  • 3 jalapenos
  • 1/2 large white onion
  • About 2 T olive oil, to drizzle over vegetables
  • 1 T horseradish puree
  • 2 T Worcestershire
  • 1/2 T green pepper hot sauce
  • juice of 4 limes
  • juice of 4 lemons
  • 2 stalks of celery
  • 2 T pickle juice
  • salt and pepper to taste
  1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
  2. In a roasting pan, spread tomato halves, garlic, onion, and jalapenos. Drizzle with olive oil and salt. Roast 30 minutes.
  3. Let vegetables cool to room temperature. Set aside half of the roasted garlic cloves to use later as garnish.
  4. Combine roasted vegetables with rest of ingredients in a blender. Depending on the size of your blender, this may need to be done in a few batches. Blend until smooth
  5. For best results refrigerate puree, covered, overnight. If serving same-day, refrigerate at least 30 minutes.
  6. Strain out solids, and it's ready to be mixed with some booze!


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