"We're not putting apple pie egg rolls on the blog."

Sometimes I'm wrong. Matt fell into a deep dark Pinterest hole and got super into the idea of making apple pie egg rolls with this recipe from Spend with Pennies. Honestly, I thought it sounded sick and weird and like only something that you would find at a state fair in one of the states in the middle of the country. But the boy was committed to the idea and we finally ended up making them and HOLY. CRAP. YOU. GUYS. why are they so good. It's a legitimate problem because we don't really have any friends and this recipe makes like 10 egg roll hand pie things which means five each which is an issue.

But it's fine because it's winter and it's time to just eat all the things and to be jolly and all that jazz. Speaking of being jolly, is it time for us to start decorating the house for the holidays? I feel like it's such a weirdly hotly debated issue wherein some people have wreaths up in October and other people are screaming at those people and also tweeting mean things at JcPenny about Christmas music being played too early. It's kind of scary. Luckily, our idea of holiday decorations means Fox wears a knit reindeer sweater that he hates and we take out all of the good winter booze like whiskey and spiced rum. Do you have an opinion on holiday decoration guidelines and timelines and if so please help. Now: the recipe. I've gone ahead and listed these step by step with photos for each step, but you can skip all the way down to the bottom for the full written recipe.

So, first, we're gonna need these things:

3 cups chopped apples (we used honey crisp)***

4 tablespoons sugar

4 teaspoons all purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice

8 - 12 egg roll wrappers

vegetable oil for frying (we used about 3 quarts)***

powdered sugar and caramel sauce for serving, optional

First things first, pour your oil into a large heavy-bottom pot for frying. Turn the heat to medium-high and bring the oil to 350 degrees, carefully monitoring with an oil thermometer. Prepare a heat-safe plate lined with a few layers of paper towels - this is where you will place the rolls once they are done frying.

Whisk together your flour, sugar, cinnamon in a large bowl.

Add your chopped apples.

And your lemon juice.

Toss it all together to evenly coat the apple chunks in the spice mix and lemon juice.

Now we're ready to make the rolls!

Place your egg roll wrapper on a clean surface and spoon about two tablespoons of the filling into one half of the wrapper (on a diagonal, as shown above), making sure to drain off as much liquid as possible to avoid popping during the hot oil bath.

Wet one finger tip and dampen the border of one half of the wrapper (the right side and bottom side, as shown above).

Fold the wrapper diagonally into a triangle, pressing down the edges of the wrapper to create a seal.

Use your finger to slightly dampen all three tips of the triangle, and fold the two tips pictured above into the center.

Now roll the egg roll, pressing down the last tip of the triangle wrapper to create a seal.

Repeat with all remaining rolls.

We're ready to fry!

Fry the rolls two or three at a time, being careful not to overcrowd the pot. Keep an eye on your thermometer to make sure the oil is staying at about 350 degrees. Let fry for about 4 minutes, until golden brown.

Use tongs to remove the finished rolls from the oil and place onto your prepared paper towel-lined plate.

Top with powdered sugar and serve with salted caramel for dipping!

Apple Pie Egg Rolls

(makes 10)

3 cups chopped apples (we used honey crisp but here's a 411 on buying apples), from about 3 medium apples
4 tablespoons sugar
4 teaspoons all purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
8 - 12 egg roll wrappers
vegetable oil for frying (we used about 3 quarts)***
Powdered sugar and caramel sauce for serving, optional

Pour your oil into a large heavy-bottom pot for frying. Turn the heat to medium-high and bring the oil to 350 degrees, carefully monitoring with an oil thermometer. Prepare a heat-proof plate lined with a few layers of paper towels - this is where you will place the rolls once they are done frying.
In a large bowl, whisk together the sugar, flour and cinnamon. Add the apples and lemon juice and toss with a wooden spoon to coat evenly.
Place your first wrapper flat on a clean surface and spoon two tablespoons of filling into one diaganol half of the square (see photos above). Wet finger tip with water and dampen the edges of half the wrapper. Fold the wrapper over to create a triangle and press the edges down to seal. Now use a touch of water to dampen the three point of your triangle, and fold two points into the center before rolling the egg roll up and firmly pressing down to seal. Repeat with remaining rolls until your filling is used up!
Gently place the rolls, two to three at a time to avoid overcrowding, into your oil. Monitor your temperature to keep it at just about 350 degrees and fry for 4 minutes, until golden brown. Remove the rolls from the oil with tongs and place onto your prepared paper towel-lined plate.
Let cool slightly before topping with powdered sugar and serving alongside caramel sauce for dipping.

Notes

We used honeycrisp apples, but there's a couple varieties of apple you can use. Check out this helpful guide for which apples to use in different dishes!
The amount of vegetable oil you need will depend on the size and shape of your pot, but you're going to want at least four inches of oil for frying, so buy accordingly!

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Apple Pie "Egg Rolls"

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